Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Letterman Wears Glass Underwear

This is a guest post by reader Morgan:

In a recent Top Ten List, late-night libertine David Letterman went beyond living in a glass house. He mocked Newt Gingrich over revelations in the candidate's ex-wife’s interview, including:
9. Their towels were monogrammed "His" and "Current Wife's"

7. He never leaves home without a set of blank divorce papers

3. Newt was once briefly married to Kris Humphries

1. He once had sex with a vending machine
Letterman even varied his list's normal format by airing a fictional animation of #1.

Once again, reader Morgan came up with a fitting top ten list about Letterman. [NOfP note: Fortunately, Morgan provided no video.]

Top Ten Revelations In The Interview With David Letterman’s Current Wife

10. Letterman never bothered to ask her about having an open marriage

9. His towels are labeled "His" and "Use this one, bitch"

8. Dave likes his wife to call him "my big gapped-tooth stud"

7. On his Montana ranch, she caught him in the barn with a goat dressed as a CBS page

6. On Tuesday sex nights, he likes her to dress in a dominatrix outfit and Jay Leno mask as Dave screams, "Beat me, Jay, beat me again and again and again you big-chinned devil"

5. To avoid a costly divorce, Dave agreed to have a police ankle bracelet strapped to his little Letterman

4. He’d love to marry Kris Humphries -- except he can’t stand tall people looking down on his bald spot

3. He has a tattoo of President Obama on his lower back.

2. The "pants" in Worldwide Pants doesn’t refer trousers but to breathing in short, quick breaths when Dave's sexually excited

1. When hard up, Dave has sex with a Mr. Coffee


Anonymous said...

In that tattoo on the lower back, where does Obama's mouth manifest itself? In the most obvious place?

OBloodyHell said...

Nice though, but that would require it to be on his buttocks, not his lower back. Morgan clearly missed that idea, which is a good one.