Monday, June 01, 2009


Andy Borowitz on May 26th:
One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."

In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."

Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."

Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.

But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.
Just don't expect verbs--indeed, Slate's Fred Kaplan imagines virtue in inaction.


OBloodyHell said...

C'mon now, guys, this was detailed months ago:


In a newly released policy brief, Mr. Obama details the following steps for dealing with Rogue States:

Under Obama, a first instance means they'll be give a Stern Talking To.

And if they're found to do it again, it will come with a Firm Reprimand.

A third offense will produce a Disappointed Sigh and a Heartfelt Expression of Disappointment.

A fourth occurrence will mean a Long Sit Down Over Tea.

Fifth and Sixth events will result in a Consideration of Sanctions and a Deeper Consideration of Sanctions, respectively.

The seventh time will result in a Public Call For A Committee On Sanctions.

The eighth offense will result in an Open Request For Sanctions and Determined Foot Tapping of Impatience.

Note: Obama has not yet announced how his foreign policy will deal with the Ninth and Tenth events in this sequence, but I think it's clear that, whatever form it takes, he will make a similarly Discerning Show of Determination to express his Supreme Dissatisfaction with the nation in question.

Carl said...


I did link to that in the main article. . .

OBloodyHell said...

> I did link to that in the main article. . .

As bob-la notes, not everyone follows links, nor all of them.

(that doesn't mean they aren't good, just that there are varying levels of fact checking going on by readers)

Carl said...

I know, but it's the only competitive advantage this blog has.