Saturday, May 02, 2009

Nuke a Gay Implant for Carrie

My name is Bob. I'm a Blogger. My turn-ons are bravery and chivalry, my turn-offs are fake boobs and hypocrisy.

As I reported to you in March, I'm not interested in gay marriage as an issue. I really don't care. If gays want to join the holy bonds of matrimony and the unholy hell of divorce -- I don't care.

What I am interested in is the hypocrisy and alarmism that gay-marriage advocacy inevitably brings.

Take for instance this gem uttered by Keith Lewis, who runs the Miss California competition, "I believe all religions should be able to ordain what unions they see fit." Keith did you really think about this statement before you passed it out at a press conference?  

Wow... Keith supports whatever unions that any religion endorses. Like polygamous unions? Carl has argued before that polygamy is legally indistinguishable from gay marriage. How about unicorn unions? Could my religion call for unicorn unions and Keith would support it? I hope you all join me in writing to Keith in your opposition of unicorn unions. Especially when it involves an Obama unicorn.

Another thing, Keith, if there was a question before--there isn't now. Keith is a Flamer. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I will not opine on gay marriage but I am not anti-gay. Keith supports gay marriage and he is co-director of a beauty pageant, the same organization that paid for Carrie's fake boobs.    I conclude Keith is angry he augmented a *conservative*.  

Here is what Keith says about fake boobs: "I think that we have to look at the way that we perceive real women, and whether that needs to be changed in the media." So, apparently, changing the way we perceive real women involves adding fake boobs to them? 

Keith -- as a gay man--what makes you an expert witness on what a real woman should look like or act or feel? Let the real men do the thinking on that one. I surely don't need a gay man to shape Miss California for me. It is like a vegetarian telling you how to cook your steak. It isn't done. (I'm a fish and fowl vegetarian. Beef is against my religion.) Besides, Keith, your raucous musings make you a target for pseudo- intellectuals like me; you should really just keep your pie hole shut.

I don't know about my dear readers but I love boobs.  The whole Carrie Prejean implant affair sounds like California investing in infrastructure to stimulate your package. I disdain fake ones though. Sure, nice to look at but if I want to caress a bag of saline I can do that without paying for a dinner and a movie.

Carrie Prejean, I don't know what to think of you. I love you for giving an opinion. I really respect taking a stand on something, instead of telling the big lie. But then I find out that wonderful brain cooked up a scheme to gain fame and honor based on fake boobs. That I cannot support.

A single topic hasn't crossed so many issues and allowed me to insult so many idiots since this bumper sticker came out.

1 comment:

bobn said...

How about unicorn unions?Is this close enough?