Thursday, December 25, 2008


From the December 24th Courier Mail (Australia):
Scientists have warned that Christmas lights are bad for the planet due to huge electricity waste and urged people to get energy efficient festive bulbs.

CSIRO researchers said householders should know that each bulb turned on in the name of Christmas will increase emissions of greenhouse gases.
(via MaxedOutMama via Watts Up With That?)


OBloodyHell said...

Scientists have warned that environmentalists are bad for the planet due to huge electricity waste and urged environmentalists to stop wasting energy and recuse themselves from further existence.

DAESS researchers said people should know that each environmentalist screed, polemic, and diatribe in the name of Global Warming will increase emissions of greenhouse gases five hundred-fold. This statistic is borne out by the latest DAESS computer models which have been rigorously updated to include the effect of environmentalists on the environment.

"It is clear from our researches," said the director of DAESS, "That the best thing for the environment would be for environmentalists to cease to exist."

Controversy erupted shortly after this announcement, when the UN introduced a new policy which would strongly retard the growth of envirnmentalists worldwide.

"No longer can we ignore the profound detrimental effect of environmentalists on the environment," indicated the newly appointed U.N. Undersecretary for the Eradication of Environmentalists in a speech just last Wednesday. "We have put it off long enough. The danger is real. The danger is here. The danger is now. To us all. This threat must be faced, dealt with, and resolved."

In related news, the World Wildlife Fund has announced its intention to do its part to resolve this problem, and has indicated a desire to create a highly detailed plan to Save the Environmentalists. "Hey, it's the least we can do," the spokesman for the WWF said. "After all, the best way to kill something is for our organization to create a plan to save it. That's a proven, demonstrable fact. So we wanted to get a leap on this one, since it's clearly so important."

Assistant Village Idiot said...

Very, very clever, OBH. That last bit brings the joke to a higher level.

Carl said...