JOTD

PROFANITY BELOW

From Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes, at 23 (2007):

Alvin is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above that says, "Alvin, sell your business!" He ignores it. The voice goes on for days, saying "Alvin, sell your business for three million dollars!" After weeks of this, he relents and sells his store.

Then the voice says, "Alvin, go to Las Vegas!"

Alvin asks why.

"Alvin, just take the three million and go to Vegas."

Alvin obeys, goes to Las Vegas, and visits a casino.

The voice says, "Alvin, go to the blackjack table and put it all on one hand!"

Alvin hesitates but gives in. He's dealt an 18; the dealer has a six showing.

"Alvin, take a card!"

"Huh? The dealer has. . ."

"Take a card!"

Alvin asks the dealer for another card, and gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy.

"Alvin, take another card."

"What?"

"TAKE ANOTHER CARD!"

Alvin asks for another card. It's another ace. He has twenty.

"Alvin, take another card."

"I HAVE TWENTY!," Alvin shouts.

"TAKE ANOTHER CARD!"

"Hit me," Alvin says. He gets a third ace. Twenty-one!

And the booming voice says, "Un-fucking-believable!"