Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I (Heart) Weekly World News

The supermarket tabloid's got the scoop on the Supremes:
Butt-Kissing Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is secretly a black power fanatic who has purposely built an "Uncle Tom" image to deceive his whitie Republican pals -- like President Bush.

Since his confirmation, the seemingly ultra-conservative Thomas has been blasted by African- American leaders, who dismiss him as a "handkerchief- head, chickenand- biscuit-eating pawn of the far right."

But a startling new probe indicates that the judge's carefully constructed right wing image is merely a facade -- he's actually a fanatical black power "mole" who's waiting for a chance to impose a radical agenda on America!
Read it all, including what's in store for NHL hockey!

(via the Volokh Conspiracy)

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