Saturday, June 11, 2011

Headline of the Day

From the June 8th The Register (U.K.):
Farting Death Camels Must Die to save the world!
No, really: it's a proposal by a company called Northwest Carbon, for an Australian government program called the Carbon Farming Initiative. The CFI is "a carbon offsets scheme to provide new economic rewards to farmers and other landholders who help the environment by reducing carbon pollution."

As the The Register reports:
An Adelaide-based entrepreneur has hit upon a novel method of fighting global warming: he intends to exterminate Australia's vast population of feral camels by means of gunfire from helicopters and jeeps, so preventing the beasts from unleashing a deadly planet-wrecking miasma of greenhouse gas from their rumbling guts.

The idea is that the War On Dromedaries would be paid for -- and indeed, turn a profit -- by selling government carbon credits issued on the basis that a dead camel cannot be emitting methane by means of belch or trouser cough. . .

[The company] calculates that each of the feral dromedaries roaming Australia's mostly desolate interior belches or farts out no less than 45kg of methane each year, equating to a thumping tonne of CO2. On average, each camel assassination will prevent the equivalent of 15 tonnes of carbon emissions.

The resulting certificates . . . could easily be traded for enough money to cover the costs of blasting the dromedaries from helicopters or 4x4s and disposing of the bodies, which could perhaps be sold for pet food.
The Australian government currently is considering Northwest Carbon's suggestion, and hopes to decide by July 1st.

"Kill a camel for Gaia." Animal rights activists may object, but I can't wait.

(via reader Warren)

7 comments:

A_Nonny_Mouse said...

Of course, some might prefer that everyone involved with Northwest Carbon would "off" their own d@mned selves and spare the world the hot air and noxious gases that they are spewing into Gaia's tender and delicate atmosphere.

Oooh, w.v.= "binkfu"
My binkfu is not strong, but it is artful....

MaxedOutMama said...

Well, they are going to rot and emit a lot of gases then....

Maybe we should just sacrifice virgins to the Goddess and be done with the pretense of science???

It WOULD be more honest. And at my age, I'm no virgin, so both the camels and I would be safe....

OBloodyHell said...

>> Well, they are going to rot and emit a lot of gases then....

No, sounds as though the plan is to take the bodies and process them for pet food. Why waste good meat?

If you're going to do something stupid, you might as well do something vaguely useful at the same time. Pissing off animal rights imbeciles is just frosting on the cake...

Bruce said...

Camel meat is actually pretty good.

The fillets, lightly smoked, are superb.

Anyway, back to business: lets burn a bunch of hydrocarbons (at taxpayer expense) to shoot (government guns only, real people won't get a look-in, probably) and turn the carcasses into dog-food.

So Fido gets to eat camel meat that has been processed and then transported all over the place by diesel powered trucks; how nice!

Then Fido gets to tear off camel-flavoured farts all over the house.

Have I missed anything?

suek said...

>>Why waste good meat?>>

Especially on pets. Which have exactly what environmental function?

Psst...pets are next...!

Carl said...

"Soylant Green is . . . people."

OBloodyHell said...

> Psst...pets are next...!

Next...? There's already been rumblings about it. The PETA types love the idea.