Maybe There Won't Always Be An England, Part 5

Even humorous self-defense is unlawful in Britain, according to the April 14th Telegraph (U.K.):

An eccentric businessman who set up a 30ft dung-firing catapult on his land to deter intruders has been burgled after police warned him that it would be illegal for him to use the weapon.

Joe Weston-Webb, a former travelling showman who also owns a human cannon and an "exploding coffin", decided to adopt such an unorthodox method of protecting his property last year after a series of break-ins and an arson attack. . .


source: The Telegraph

His eccentric methods attracted media attention as well as a warning from Nottinghamshire Police that using the giant catapult would be illegal as it did not constitute "reasonable force".

But now his business had been targeted by thieves again.

Burglars vandalised his workshop and stole cutting equipment, a plasma screen television and a laptop among other goods during the break-in on Monday night.

Mr Weston-Webb estimates that the combined bill for damage and stolen property could amount to £10,000.

He said that his private CCTV cameras picked up a figure entering the premises at about 11.15pm but the catapult was not primed following the police warning.

"It is ridiculous that we are in this situation now in which we can't defend ourselves," he said.

He is now threatening to ignore the warning and reactivate the catapult in the face of what he believes is a vendetta.

"We've seen where listening to them gets you," he said.

"They warned me off, and the result is that my business has been smashed to bits by yobs."

Britain essentially bans private ownership of handguns, so I guess constables think, "Guns don't kill you, dung does."

(via The Corner)