FAQ for Men

Maxim magazine published 100 Things Every Guy Must Know. These include the sacred:

• The long-lost words to the Bonanza theme song;


• Why left-handed pitchers are called southpaws;


• When to split cards in blackjack.

The practical, such as fashion tips:

• Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no;


• You can have long hair, you can have a mustache, and you can wear a pink shirt, but not all three at the same time.

And the profane:

• How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
  
  Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
  Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
  Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
  Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
  Swedish “Jag ?lskar dig”
  German “Ich liebe dich”
  Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
  Chinese “Wo ai ni”
  Spanish “Te amo”
  French “Je t’aime”
  Italian “Ti amo”
  Greek “S’agapo”
  American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”;



• How to unclasp a bra with one hand
  
  1. With the palm of your dominant hand facing her, slide your middle finger under the bra strap, right between the clasp and her unbelievable body.
  
  2. Pull the clasp out away from her with your middle finger, and pinch the strap between your thumb and ring finger. Pull your middle finger out, and begin to hum “Moon River.”
  
  3. Slowly snap your fingers to accomplish mission. If she has a double-clasp bra, you may have to snap twice; don’t get flustered. Practice on Grandma if necessary.

Read the whole thing.

(via John Walkenbach)