Coulter's 2004

Ann Coulter's best of 2004 is a frown-free zone:

Like the archers of Agincourt, John O'Neill and the 254 Swift Boat Veterans took down their own haughty Frenchman.

Meanwhile, San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom is nipping at O'Neill's heels as the man second-most responsible for Bush's re-election. Thanks largely to Newsom's hard work, gay marriage was big news all year.

In retrospect, the Democrats would have been better off if they had found every gay guy in America who actually wanted to get married and offered each one a million dollars in exchange for the Democrats' not having to talk about gay marriage. (Finally--a problem that could have been solved by throwing money at it!)

On the basis solely of media coverage, Abu Ghraib was the biggest story of 2004, maybe the biggest story ever. And for good reason: An American soldier was caught on film not only humiliating Iraqi prisoners--but smoking!

The New York Times even had to drop its coverage of Augusta National Golf Course to give Abu Ghraib due prominence. Only the Rumsfeld autopen scandal was big enough to knock Abu Ghraib off the front page.

Coulter's only misstep is to call the exit polls the "single biggest event of 2004," making John Kerry the President for a few moments, like something from "John Steinbeck's The Short Reign of Pippin IV." Everyone knows the biggest event of 2004 was Ann kicking Al Franken's butt (reprinted in her recent book How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must).